Grief and loss can happen to anyone at any time, and it’s normal. It may last weeks, months, or even years.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross developed a model of five stages of grief for people who are dying, but it has since been modified to account for any type of loss. The important thing is to find ways to support yourself during your time of grief.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s Five Stages of Grief
The five stages of grief were first described by Dr Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book On Death and Dying. They were originally devised for people who were dying but are now thought to be universally applicable to all major loss and change experiences in life.
Grieving for a loved one is a natural and normal reaction to a life-changing event. It is a unique and personal process that may feel like it takes you backwards, or even back to square one.
The five stages of grief are a framework that can help you to identify and understand your emotions. However, the stages are not linear so you might find yourself passing over a stage and then moving backwards a few weeks later.
Triggers
During your grief journey, you will likely encounter unexpected moments that remind you of the loss of your loved one. These are known as ‘grief triggers’ and can leave you reeling with mixed emotions.
Grief triggers can include things like special dates, songs or smells, places and even memories.
Some people try to avoid triggers, while others may feel that confronting them is helpful. Whatever you choose to do, it’s important to understand that grief is an ongoing process that will continue for the rest of your life.
While it’s impossible to completely avoid grief triggers, understanding their nature can help you prepare yourself for the inevitable times when they will pop up. And knowing how to cope with the flood of feelings they bring can give you the peace of mind you need during this difficult time.
Memories
When a person is in the midst of complicated grief, they are often prone to remembering involuntary autobiographical memories. These memories can come in the form of sights, sounds, smells, and words that pop into your mind out of nowhere.
They can leave you feeling overwhelmed and like you’ve been hit by a truck.
In this way, memory can become a major issue for people in the midst of complicated grief.
So, to investigate this cognitive paradox, Harvard psychologists Donald Robinaugh and Richard McNally tapped into the memory and imagination of mourners who had lost their partner within one to three years.
Tears
When you cry during grief, it can be a natural reaction to feelings of sadness. During this time, it’s important to acknowledge your tears and to find a safe space to let them flow.
Some people may feel a need to cry more than others. This can be a sign of your emotional resiliency.
Grieving is a complex process, and it can be challenging to deal with at times. Loss of a loved one can be particularly hard.
During your time of mourning, it is normal to experience periods of numbness, guilt and anger. It is also helpful to have a supportive group of friends and family around you to help cope with your feelings.
Support
There are countless ways to get support when you’re dealing with grief and loss. You can find support from friends and family, grief counselors, and online resources.
You may also want to consider joining a grief support group. These groups are often offered by local hospitals and social workers.
Grief can be a tough time, and it can feel isolating. If you have a friend or family member that you know is dealing with a lot of grief, ask them to sit with you or visit you when you need it.
The grieving process can be very intense, but it is a normal part of life. You will experience a range of emotions that can include shock, anger, regret, sadness, confusion, guilt and disbelief.
