Then about a month ago, we ended up together at a happy hour on a Friday night with a number of other coworkers. I was having a good time, and as usually happens after a couple of drinks, my inhibitions were a bit lowered. By happenstance, I happily found myself sitting at the bar next to Rachel, and before I knew it we were actually having a conversation. I was oblivious to everything else. I couldn’t believe I was actually talking to her. The conversation went well and in my mind we seemed to hit it off. It seemed to go so well, that before we even realized it, almost everyone else from our group had already left.
The next thing I knew, I was walking out to the parking lot with Rachel. We when got to her car, she kind of turned and smiled and in one fell swoop she was kissing me. It felt so good I was literally overwhelmed. It was exactly what I had dreamed about. I just closed my eyes and let the sensation wash over me not knowing where it would lead. I don’t know how long we stood there and kissed. Maybe a couple of minutes. Maybe five or ten. But slowly it got more heated. I know my brain was spinning a million different directions as she moved her hands over my chest and down across my stomach. I let out a gasp as her hand slid further down and across my cock. I’d been aroused all night, but now I was doubly so. As she let her fingers linger gently, I found myself opening my eyes to see her looking right back at me, a mischievous grin pursed on her lips.
Then almost as soon as it began, she pulled away, the smile never leaving her face. She said she had to get going as she slipped inside her car and drove off. I didn’t know what to think. I was left standing there dumbfounded. Had I done something wrong. Did she not like the way things were going. Was she taken back by my arousal? Was I not what she expected? Was she worried about the fact that we worked together?
Looking back on it now, I’m still confused by her actions. I don’t know what she was doing. As I said, in some ways it seemed like a game to her. She liked the power she knew she had over me. She liked pushing my buttons I guess. I didn’t realize it at the time, but now I know that I was playing right into her hands. She controlled everything. She had me wrapped around her little finger and I didn’t even know it. I was completely enamored with her. She had sucked me into her little world and there was nothing I could do about it.
Still, at the time I was dumbfounded. I spent the weekend agonizing over what happened. I was flooded with self-doubt. All kinds of thoughts invaded my head. Did she not like the way I responded to her? Was I too easy? Did she dislike the way I kissed? Did she just enjoy teasing me? Was I not well-enough endowed? I felt an amazing lack of self-confidence and I assumed the worst. A million different scenarios popped into my head, and none of them were good.
When Monday came, things were even stranger. She didn’t say a word about Friday night and neither did I. I was still too shaken and too worried. I couldn’t get her out of my head. She literally occupied every facet of my mind. And yet, she seemed to go about her business as if nothing unusual had happened. Her interaction with me was completely normal.
As for me, I was too scared to approach her or ask her what happened. I was so scared that would set her off, and that she would be done with me. I was so desperate not to let that happen. I wanted more than anything for what we started to continue. I didn’t want to do anything that might jeopardize that, and somehow I managed to convince myself that bringing it up would do just that.
So I agonized in silence for a week. For the entire week we went on as if nothing had happened. Our work relationship didn’t change a bit. It was like we were no closer than we were a month before. Cordial but distant friends. Still the dark thoughts kept creeping up on me. I wondered what she might be thinking. Whenever I saw her, I found myself almost staring, wondering what could be going in her mind. For the entire week, not five minutes passed where she wasn’t at the forefront of my mind.
The next weekend came and it was more of the same. I wallowed in self-doubt. Petrified to do anything but wait in agony. Wait for what, I had no idea. But there was nothing else I felt I could do.
Monday at work was the same thing. At least at first. But somehow I found myself alone with her in the break area. It was the first time we had really been alone since that night. I felt my stomach sink and my skin tingle. I was so nervous just being in her presence, I was scared I might do something to chase her away. She asked me how my weekend was and at least I managed to mumble an incoherent answer. I saw a hint of a smile from her. It made my mind race trying to decipher it, trying to catch some glimpse of what she really thought. But almost as quick as her smile came it disappeared. She offered information about how her weekend was, but I was too dumbstruck to really listen. But when she was done, she smiled again, and asked me what I was doing this weekend.
I think my jaw must have dropped to the floor as she kind of chuckled at my reaction. But before I knew it I had accepted her offer for dinner on Friday night. I don’t think I’d ever had quite such a mixture of relief and anxiety as I had in the moment she walked away. I still wasn’t quite sure what to think, and it wasn’t clear to me if she meant dinner as friends, or dinner as something else.
Friday seemed so far away and it loomed large on my mind all week. A million thoughts raced through my head as to where the evening might lead. It was so difficult for me to overcome my fear and self-doubt. I felt so intimidated and so in awe of her. I couldn’t remember a time when I felt such an attraction to a woman. But by Friday, I had at least managed to convince myself that our evening was a date and I wanted to treat it that way.
Dinner was good. Our conversation seemed to flow easily. I felt that uneasiness in the back of my mind, but for a while it seemed to dissipate. I felt so lucky to be there with her. I wanted to do everything to make sure the evening was perfect. I brought her flowers, and opened her car door, and pulled out her seat at dinner. I was the very definition of gentleman. She seemed to appreciate it, at least as far as I could tell from her smile.
After dinner as we made the way back to my car, we walked in silence. I opened the door for her and let her get inside. As I got in myself, I turned toward her and asked her if she wanted to get a cup of coffee. She didn’t respond right away. Instead, she gently slid her hand up and down my thigh, teasing me. As soon as I felt her touch, every inch of my skin was covered in goose bumps. It seemed like I became frozen solid when she asked if I wanted to go back to her place. At that point I think my mind actually exploded.
Back at her house I felt awkward. I felt unsure and out of my element, not that I was ever in my element with Rachel. But here that uneasiness seemed to flourish. Rachel on the other hand seemed confident and at ease. She seemed to ooze sexuality. Every move she made she seemed like she was floating, the way she carried herself was undeniable. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. She fixed us each a glass of wine and then we took a seat next to each other on the couch.
She asked how I liked the wine and I mumbled an answer as I felt her hand slide down the length of my thigh. She wasted no time sliding her hand between my legs to feel my fully aroused cock. She asked how I liked it as she touched me gingerly. I couldn’t say a word. Instead I let out a low moan as my mouth dropped open and my eyes rolled back in my head. I didn’t respond or touch her. I felt like I couldn’t. It was strange but in a way I knew that she was in control and that wasn’t what she wanted. It seemed so easy and so obvious. I just had to sit there.
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