1. Talk About Your Sexual Issues
Most couples know that communication is a key part of a healthy relationship, and this includes talking openly about sex. However the topic of sex can be intimidating for some couples, and they may avoid the issue altogether or sweep it under the rug out of fear of making their partner angry or sad. As a result, sexual frustration can become an ongoing issue that affects the overall satisfaction of a couple’s relationship.
It’s important to talk about sex issues with your partner as soon as possible. This can help you identify what needs to be addressed and what steps to take to address these issues. It also allows you to clear up any misconceptions about each other’s sexual desires and preferences. For example, if your partner assumes you want to have sex more often than you do, this could be a source of sexual tension.
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Be sure to choose a time and place to discuss your sex life that is free of distraction or interruption. It’s also best to focus on a single topic at a time, such as frequency of sex or intimacy. This will make the conversation less awkward for both of you.
If you find it difficult to communicate with your partner about sex issues, a sex therapist can provide you and your partner with the tools and skills needed to have these conversations. Sex therapists are trained to listen without judgment and can help you discover underlying issues and unresolved conflicts. They can also provide you with strategies for improving communication and increasing intimacy in your marriage. Ultimately, addressing your sexual difficulties can help you and your partner re-discover the passion that once existed in your relationship.
2. Take Care of Yourself
Remember that sex and intimacy are not just about the bedroom. Affection (hugs, kisses, tender touch), time together, and open communication help you and your partner feel close outside of the bedroom, too. Practicing affection can also reduce stress and help you both be ready for sexual interaction in the future. It's important to communicate with your healthcare team about a healthy, balanced diet and whether there are any chronic health conditions or medications that could affect your desire or ability to have sex.
Some couples find their sex life becomes ho-hum after a while, even in the best of relationships. A bit of imagination can rekindle the spark in your relationship and get you back to enjoying intimate moments. Try something new, such as a massage or sex in the pool or a wooded secluded spot. Or you might experiment with erotic books and films, though it is important to avoid pornography or other inappropriate material at work or when your children are around.
For couples that have trouble talking about their sexual needs, a sex therapist can help you establish open communication about these issues in a safe environment. A sex therapist can also teach you and your partner healthy ways to talk about sex that don't lead to arguments or resentment. For example, a couple may agree to tell each other a secret that they never reveal to anyone else—whether it's a childhood memory or a vivid dream. When you share this kind of intimacy, it can help re-establish an emotional bond that feels very sexy.
3. Try New Sexual Techniques
Sexual pleasure is a powerful part of any relationship, and it can help you and your partner connect in new ways. However, it’s important to communicate openly about what you want and don’t want with your partner. Effective communication will help you navigate through any challenges and find solutions that are right for you.
It’s also important to try new sexual techniques to enhance your pleasure and create excitement. Trying new things, like different positions or toys, can lead to an increase in sexual satisfaction for both parties. Moreover, a lack of sexual stimulation is a common reason for low libido. This may be caused by stress, depression, or burnout. Talking about these issues with your partner, and seeking professional help if needed, can help rekindle your passion.
Some couples experience sexual challenges because they have a rigid idea of what sex should look like. This can be due to culture, religion, or even childhood conditioning. A sex therapist or counselor can help you and your partner explore your sexual desires and come up with strategies to overcome obstacles that limit intimacy.
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In addition, remember that your libido isn’t a broken part of you. It’s a natural response to the pressures of life and a sign that you need to take a closer look at your priorities and find some joy again.
4. Spend Quality Time Together
Spending quality time together is one of the best ways to show your partner how much you care. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you go out to dinner every night, but it does mean putting your phone away and spending time talking about the day’s events, discussing non-sexual topics like your favorite TV shows or movies, or even just sitting in silence together. It’s a great way to build emotional intimacy, which can help increase your libido.
Keeping an open dialogue with your partner is a vital part of maintaining a healthy relationship, especially when it comes to sexual issues. Talking about your sexual needs, desires, and any concerns you may have can help prevent miscommunication that could lead to frustration or resentment. If you’re struggling to communicate effectively, consider seeking out professional help. A sex therapist or counselor can provide you and your partner with a safe space to discuss these topics and work towards finding mutually beneficial solutions.
Another way to keep the spark alive in your sexual relationship is by doing things that make you feel sexy. Whether it’s wearing sexy clothes, reading romance novels or erotica, or practicing yoga, find sexy activities that bring out your sensual side and help you to feel more aroused in the bedroom.
It’s important to remember that sexual problems are not exclusive to women and that sexual satisfaction is not just about sex but about the overall relationship. Maintaining an open dialogue, taking care of yourself, trying new techniques and positions, and seeking professional help when necessary are all essential parts of a fulfilling sexual life. With some patience and hard work, you can reclaim your joy in the bedroom.
5. Try New Sexual Positions
Sometimes, it can feel like passion takes a backseat in your relationship. Whether due to work, family, or other commitments, you may find that your sexual connection has waned. If you’re ready to spark the embers of intimacy and passion, try these therapist-approved tips for reviving your libido and creating more exciting sexual experiences in bed.
Experimenting with new sex positions can be a great way to spice things up and create more excitement in the bedroom. Many different positions can increase pleasure and orgasm potential, so it’s worth trying a few to see what you and your partner prefer.
The classic missionary position is a great way to initiate penetration, but if you want something more thrilling, consider switching it up with a reclined butterfly position. This yoga-inspired sex position is relaxing, allows for skin-to-skin contact, and helps you lean into your partner—which can boost pleasure and orgasm potential.
Another fun and sensual position is straddling, which promotes a deeper emotional connection by allowing for eye contact and synchronized breathing. It also promotes more grinding, a slower movement that can help you both build up your stamina. If you’re both into slow sex, you can also try a reverse cowgirl position, in which one partner lays down with their legs straight while the penetrating partner sits on top and straddles them.
The most important thing to remember is that satisfying sex will look different for everyone. Some positions might be uncomfortable for some, while others may lead to more pain or discomfort than you’re used to experiencing. However, by communicating openly with your partner and experimenting with new positions, you can find the best sexual experience for you and your partner.
